When I moved from Arizona to Pennsylvania, I remember feeling proud of myself for finally gaining more independence. Before this, I lived at home with my parents and siblings. My move to Pennsylvania was a most pivotal time in my life in that I had to be responsible for all of the decisions that I made. The idea of this freedom was both liberating and daunting. I was ready to be free from parental lectures but I was daunted and overwhelmed by the idea that I had to do everything on my own. In fact, I was so daunted by the idea that one evening, I ended up in a dark place, psychologically. I started missing my family and I detested having to do everything for myself. I missed my family’s company, my mother’s cooking and my bed. It turns out that I was homesick-I longed to be in the place that I so wanted independence from.
Although my story is not the same as what some students experience, they definitely experience homesickness. What are the effects of this? They experience lack of motivation and they begin to doubt whether or not they made the right decision in choosing to pursue an education away from home. Homesickness can become so severe that unless one has the opportunity to reconnect with family, a feeling of inadequacy can quickly ensue and become the norm. A once academically competent student can start to question their place in the very place where they once believed that they were destined to thrive.
This is a perfect time to share the one song that makes me feel like “there is no place like home.” “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and “What a Wonderful World” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole:
When does homesickness occur? This usually takes place a few weeks into the school year. When the honeymoon period of new friendships and getting acclimated to life in academia has passed, it becomes difficult for adolescents to realize that they actually miss being home. It becomes even more difficult to realize that caregivers are not readily available for hugs and kisses on demand. Homesickness also occurs when the seasons change from warm to cold. During this time, perseverance-and even blue light-is necessary to remain academically motivated.
The following are some of the ways students, caregivers, mentors and others in a community can assist when one is experiencing homesickness:
- Depending on the individual student, caregivers should plan to visit and/or take the student home for some time with family– when speaking with students who experience homesickness, they share a feeling of being recharged after going home for a weekend, or after spending some time with family.
- Speak with student through Skype or through another live video service- unfortunately, if a student is international, he or she does not have the luxury of going home, or having caregivers visit often. This means that alternatively, a video call will have to take the place of an in person visit.
- Allow student to reflect on the positive through journal writing- journal writing is an essential part of my classroom curriculum. This is a space where students can share their personal reflections on any aspect of life that currently moves them. The act of writing can work wonders in that it allows one to express themselves. This will not take the homesickness away, however, it can allow for healthy reflection and connection through writing.
- Talk with a trusted adult- sometimes students choose to suffer in silence before they admit that they’ve been suffering. By the time their homesickness is revealed, they have already been unmotivated for weeks. This is why it is essential to speak with an adult or mentor for strategies in managing responsibilities in the meantime.
- Eat healthily- selecting foods that will assist one in working at an optimal level is best when homesick. It will not take away from the desire to be home. However, healthier food options will better fuel the body until one can be refueled from that hug and kiss from mom and dad. This was my experience when I moved from Arizona to Pennsylvania.
- A simple hug- sometimes a hug can make one feel better in the meantime. If you have the opportunity to give a student who is experiencing homesickness a hug, please do so (with permission, of course).
All in all, homesickness is a reality for some; especially for students who make the courageous decision of choosing to be educated in a boarding school environment. However, there are options for coping and persevering through this difficult time while at school. Note: these ideas are a result of what I’ve witnessed and experienced as an English teacher, coach, advisor and dorm parent. If you are someone or know of someone who is experiencing severe homesickness and its effects, it may be necessary to seek the advice of a medical/licensed professional who specializes in addressing these effects. If you’d like to elaborate more on any particular area mentioned, please feel welcomed to comment below: